Last Half of October

Oct. 12 Girls got their hairs cut- little Mace got a bob and some swoopy bangs, J got her a line back, ellie got a ton of bange ( which are yet to be traied to be out of her eyes but she looks so cute :) The the 13th we got our pics taken in Rexburg. Brittany Allen took them, suuuupppper struessful, I let myself get all stressed out, Tiffany helped us accessorize which was really fun, Jena and I went on a date noght before to get some accessories and it was sooo fun! She said we need to do this more often- I agreed. I babysat Blatters and Allens the 15th for a babysitting swap, went really well, I love Brittany's baby, so sweet. Audrey and I changed the speed of a song ro two and Sat we trunk or treated after a looong day landscaping. AAAANNND we got to go to the temple and see Audrey and Vance get sealed! It was sooooo sweet, talked with old friends, I love vance and audrey- the babies came in white and the whole room began to bawl!!!!!!! We had crazyness cause adam took kids to if for Josclyn's bday party and we were going to meet in IF but then the sealing was at Rexburg- anyway Carol met us at County line and drove the babies home.

Tiffany and I have been exercizing for almost a month now and it has been great to be working out and on a schedule. It has been so neat to get to know Tiffany soo well. I judged her to be into hair and makeup more than people and probably b/c I feel that's how I would be if I looked cute as her. It has been so neat and eye opening. I love it. Love her.

Oct. 20th went to a stake leadership primary meeting and was blown away at how some people see and approach their calling! WOW! I loved it. Loved the stake cheerleaders, loved the ideas ansd it really helped me to get out of my burn out stage! Got some ideas, begged Katie neville my piano player to help me get into making some props and just reading and studying and thinking the way God wants me to about my calling. It is a big deal to be a great music leader in Primary. How amazing that I have a captive audience of God's chosen for 20 min's every week! I know I will be accountable for how I used/spent that time. I will do my best and serve with my whole heart! And al the week of the 20th we did little school and Tiffany helped me get my house in order! AMAZING! Everything was in its place, sooo sooo easy to clean and keep clean. LOVE IT! One of the funnies of the month was adam saying " Liz I'm so glad you're cute and nice cause you can teach anyone to be clean!" :) Love him. Another funny was Levi teaching Eathan and Porter about playing with legos " You can make anythng you want but if Macy's dying for it just give 'er it " :) Love him too. Love them alllll.

Oct. 23 Pumpkin party at michelles. Super fun, carved pumpkins made this huge batch of pumpkin cake and forgot allll the oil! Still turned out crazily enough. Probably pumpkin is just forgiving. 25th, went to Tifs to work on bracelets,

Oct. 27th. The long awaited Simmons Halloween party. I ought to have Jena write about it. Sooo fun. the girls planned and colored and prepared, we went to town Mon got paty favors and witches brew stuff, Wed. I was sewing bat wings for ellie, we were running out of time to get dry ice and the last things from broulims, macy was napping, Jena said she'd babysit, I leave and call her and say you might want to start the dishwasher b/c there was a snack tray in there we'd want. she said "oh I did that a long time ago" Of course she did! And she had the house spic-n-span when I got home and levi and ellie were washing off countertops. She said it's a lot of work to host a party :) And it is! We had a ball! All our honored invited guests came, 2 or 3 friends a piece. Soo super fun. Served soup, cake walk, sticky pumpkin things race down the wall, lighted costumes contest runway and everyone got a prize from the pinkest to the featheryest ( that was me with my angel wings :) Ellie is goig to throw our harvest festival in November sometime. Oh it's fun to have little kids and fun around every corner!

Adam and ellie went on a hot chuckarama boots shopping date. the 28th, 29th was campout and Adam and the boys killed our nonlaying chicken. Had a nasty huge egg inside it poor thing. Feeling better bout killing it! Felt bad for a sec. The Sat Aam fin landscaping we cleaned house and then got all gussied for trick or treat. Sooo fun! All my babied with me, hooked up golf cart trailer to back of truck, went to sandstone picked up Boshes and Savanah and just went all around! Sooo fun. Ended up at Wolfensbergers and chatted and laughed about their terrible chili cookoff experience.....Sooo funny and fun. Adam loves working with Ryan. I'm so glad that company has worked out for both of them. We are surely grateful for Briggs. Stake conference was Sat and Adam went and Sun. we went as a family and had a great meeting. Sat I got out family history stuff and we organized it and maybe a week before that I went through that stuff and threw away all my Travis letters and a bunch of other junk. Oh how grateful I am to be rid of that canker. I cannot believe the peace finally writing him off asking him to delete all my info and not contact me has been. And we only kept e-mail contact maybe bi-annually but Maril and I chatted at Bear lake and she said get away from the things that canker.......Dunno why it stuck this time but wow.......and then looking at all my history stuff it is fuuullllll of me writing, I know I need to do better, be better, i'm going to try harder, read my scriptures be good. I thought I just didn't know. No so. I just didn't choose the light, the right the best I could and rationalized for years about it. And that has cause me to ponder and reflect. And stake conference was so sweet for Adam and me both! We sat down sunday and put together our schedule of the essentials, the rigby east 8 and it really fills up our schedules with out anything else. We will live our schedule! I will not rationalize but be true and faithful! Off to reading time then cutting primary stuff with Katie on this fine November 1st! Liz

Ohhhhh boy. Not written in a looong time. Ready to do quick catch up and move on - can't get bogged.

I already tore off my Sept calendar which is probably a blessing sooo...what I can remember is that mars and Tiffany and I went on a home school retreat in S. Utah and it was wonderful. Dian Jeppson stayed up til 3 am talking with me sharing her hard experiences with me, I went on a vision walk with Jodi Palmer I committed to family philanthropy of 10% every month, I learned more about what other moms do and I kinda started to realize that I need to woah back on my public school schedule at home. It's difficult to let it go and just strive to nurture a learning environment....but this week I feel that is my call.

October 2. Conference weekend- pretty successful- I forgot to involve my little kids and forgot to have my girls take notes bout what the prophets said but it was still traditional and fun. On Monday the 4th I started to feel wierd about going to TX to sing with sisters, wasn't sure what it was about and then I started to have my nerves breaking down about it just sooo much stress and stupor, I recognized later it was a clear stupor but I already have the ticket already have plans Adam is all on board and supporting. No, talked and cried it out with Jen and it is all going to be ok. She was sweet and understanding about it and Sal backed out because I did and that was probably good for her.

Oct. 5 Levi wrote his first word DAD at preschool was sooo excited to show his dad. Soo fun. Preschool has been wonderful for us. Big girls went into museum with Seeleys I stayed in the car having a rough time deciding bout TX, we got pumpkins from walmart which is always fun. Macy wanted a small one for her :)

Oct. 6 Another though day but Adam loved me and told me it would be ok and even in prayed asked for help for me to go and have a good time and we went to bookclub together and that was fun. He got meet all the homeschool ladies, it was fun bonding, Fri was gym. I think b/c I has having such a tough time we forgot to do school a few times and it all worked out. I want more of a house of learning than a house with a school schedule. I just need to figure out how to lead out in that.

Oct. 8 Told Jen for real the Spirit says don't go to TX and then we did gym and we had our 80's party and that was so fun. Adam came home early to help clean I got a serious 80's bang even though I don't have bangs :) LOTS of ratting and aqua net. No one showed up for 1/2 an hour after starting time and so we cleaned hung together listened to 80's music and then 6 couples showed up all at once and it was a ball! Joined the gym again too with Tif. last week. And this week I do better and rolling with school. Yeah!

Oct. 11 That's today. Doing a surprise b-day party for Kelly she needs one 4 kids 5 and under WOOOOOOW! I remember those days of noooo sleep. I love her. Hope it's a blast and v.t.ing today- Ila babysits me and it's good to be a regular :) I'm so blessed. Wonder how our philanthropy will go, wonder what discoveries bout home school God will show me this week. I have the perfect life...so happy and thankful. Liz

Oh yeah so last night Ellie, who has 2 adult teeth behind all her baby teeth lost her 1st tooth! Crazy- shes 7! Anyway Macy woke up at 3 in the morning I went in to see if the tooth fairy had come and couldn't find the baggie. Turned on the light woke everyone up, found the tooth put it under thepillow asked Adam to put a $ under and get tooth, he did, wrote a little note, asked adam to put note under pilow he did, bout 4:30 ellie comes out says theres no tooth fairy- just dad! I felt him, saw him, etc. She couldn't care less, not attached, etc. So then I go to the gym, ellie tell Jena I come home J is sad- is it true? I said that's what Ellie said...she was sad, made some sad remarks I said lets get him back! Lets write him notes and put them under his pillow: Dear Tooth fairy, you're bigger than we had expected" and she lit up and paughed real hard and thought that would be a good idea but for breakfast prayer she said help us not be sad about the tooth fairy and ellie who was playing with a sticky tac the whole prayer long said why would we be sad and jena said you were not even closing your eyes nor did you say amen. I think you need to practice being reverent. It was soo funny....2 totally different yummy kids! Ok, enough neglecting homeschool, off to teach, love, learn, etc.

September 7, 2010

Dad sent an e-mail of one of his journal entries:

We had fun interacting with the two, cute little Simmons girls, Jenna and Elle. Elle caught on to Grampa's "roll 'em and roll 'em" skill building, training, grandkid requirement thing right fast. The next two days, when I would walk by her, she would quietly roll 'em, with a big smile, to get my attention. That's my kind of grandkid! Jenna is cute and smart and requires her mother to muster maximum psychology before she responds to parental guidance. Liz said she once asked her to pick up her toys one day and got, "I'm tired of this crappe and not going to do it anymore!" Pretty sad when parents teach their kids such language. :)

My reply:

That is hilarious! I don't remember that. The psychology has always been necessary with Jena, however, and I do remember that part. Now that she's 9 I get why. Just a wise one beyond her years. My mother in law said of her yesterday you know if you and adam disappeared for some freaky reason Jena would literally be able to take care of your family for you. They would eat and clean and be ok. She's so right. Incredible young lady in smarts and reason and ability. It has been amazing to watch her. I'm certain that spiritually she is my elder by far- all my babies. They just had to come later so I get to be older here but I fear she'll out run me intellectually in the next few years and then what? :)
I guess they can just teach me and we'll all still keep learning together :)

September 6, 2010

Wow, it has been a fabulous week! I feeeel soo blessed (not the same as happy, I jut learned, but joy from within that outside circumstances cannot effect too much) Had some things happen that we great-

Friday we didn't really do school- went to gym, went to the library, had a fun time- had pizza then we came home and packed for Bear Lake. I was having a tough time. Travis texted me and though I wasn't positive it was him I looked up the area code and sure enough it was Oregon. Alll these thoughts of why didn't my parents teach me to date better, I could have become something great, why didn't they read to me and teach me about....whatever! Soo many regrets. Soo much tention and it was making me crazy, I wasn't sure what to do, it was just a storm inside. I wanted to check into a counselor, or write Travis a long letter about how he had slighted me and to tell him not to write me again, and yet feeling like I still wish I could save him, sadness for his choices, and yet certainly contact was not a good option, and I didn't want to tell Adam b/c I don't want to break his heart and maybe I could schedule a private interview with a stake presidency member, just this crazy storm raging inside me over a text that said callin baton rouge! We went to Bear lake early Sat. morning, I was grumpy and blamed it on packing or anticipating that Adam would be grumpy ( that's funny- I'm mad b/c I know you're going to be a jerk- I'm just anticipating it and acting mad now to get all ready :) nice) But we went at 7 am, adam stopped to look at a roof, he brought the boat, which I had no goo favor towards but didn't care I just didn't want to mess with it. And we get there and I'm grumpy about the sand and it's cold and, and, and.but somewhere in there I went on a loooooooong walk with Maril and I'm so glad for her friendship. She listens, she has soo much to offer, she's calm and peaceful and says things with a pure heart. She's my best friend beside Adam. I can't believe I was so lucky to have a sister who is such a loving and loya support to me. We have mused lately about how our conversations have changed from budgets and ecor to education and literature and tradtions and testimopny. It has been so sweet. I feel the Lord guiding my life and I love it. I love my sacred grove mornings, I love homeschool, the schedule that is flexible and non-competitive, the time with my babies, the lve, laighter, hard work, alll of it. I feel like I live in a dream world of peace and joy overflowing. I thought it would end as all blissful times seem to but it hasn't. Adam and I are still best friends. It has been a long time now and I thought for sure we'd fall out of grwace with each other but we are still kissing goodbye and praying together and we embrace in sweetness oftern and he organizes my laundry for me and does many a batch of dishes and I feel his love so strongly I'm sort of in disbelief over it all. Like I'm standing back and watching my life and just have this huge wow about it all. I love it. I can't believe it. Anyway, Maril and I walk, she reminds me that a letter to Travis will never help. Change your # she says, you would never play with a needle infected with aids, and Travis is poison. I told her that part and she said stay away with poison. Of course. It made perfect sense when she said it and not a big deal today but it was amazing the energy, the temptation, the power of Satn was in that text. It was destoying my peace! And so I talked and talked and talked it over with Maril and it just seemed like all the regrets I have felt were sallied together against me that day and it heped so much to chat and say stay away forever. So I decided to wait to tell adam I wanted to change my # and we had a fun time on the beach, food and sand and I did NOT get Jena enought sunblock and she got FRIED! Oh i feel bad about that. it's tuesday and she still can hardly wear clothes. Anywho, we packed up, headed for shaved ice and Maril's campground, they brought our golf cart! We didn't have ramps to load it with and so we broke the tail gate and some of Jacques' trailer lights trying to and then we headed home. Didn't get there til 2 am, NEVER want to do that again. Ever! But we did.

Sunday- I got up at 6 to get dinner ready and make a jello salad for a luncheon i was going to miss and b/c Sal and family were coming over- they stayed at Lava and came up for lunch. And I was playing the organ and the songs were tough (i know just hymns but there were some tricky ones! :) That experience reminds me that where there is a will there's a way- I would have thought I could not function having gotten so little sleep but I was determined not to destroy the hymns in chirch and I needed to prepare so I got up! I did it! I'm not a slave to my body! Anywho, it went great, practiced primary program songs alll primary, just had a ball. I really love me calling! I would have never thought that but I do. 2 sundays ago i was talking to Ariana- did I write this already- and said I'd like to lobby for organist and then I lead a song and looked out at my kids and thought if someone came after me that didn't love these kids and didn't make it fun and help them to learn and feel and love the gospel it would make me so sad. I felt the need of my Father to do my best and that my little contribution to the primary wa sa big deal. Loved that experience. So the Holloways came, we chatted, ate, talked about Todd's new business, Sal's books, kids, the wind was AMAZING! Sustained 20 mile and hour winds. The kids got on razor scooters and let the wind push them from the culdesac to the elk and Adam would pick them up from the elk in the golf cart and haul them back. It was super fun. Until sweet little Ellie tried it, it was too much for her, and she started acting silly and just ate it, slid on her face for a long time adam said- I was just watching from the garage. Anywho, bandaged her up, helped her get to bed, didn't think about having her stay up b/c she had a concussion but she did- spent the day throwing up and lounging. Sal and I took a look at my classics bookshelf and she said oh mom read that to me, oh i love this one, mom read that to me too, oh.....so my regrets were deepened a little and then I understood also. Mom DID read the classics. But then she taught piano so she could keep 11 of us in her home....she is amazing. How dare I feel slighted. I could have dome something myself and I didn't. And the real truth is it doesn't matter. I think Sat. night in bed Adam asked me if there was something up b/c he felt there was a wedge between us I said there was but I didn't want to tell him b/c I thought he'd be mad and I didn't do anythnign wrong. He said I won't be mad I just want to be able to trust you. I told him I wanted to change my number and that Travis texted me, I only responded who is this and he never replied and how my regrest had all surfaced and turns out Adam saw the text when it came in b/c he helps me keep my phone charged and when he turned it on the text showed right up....anywho, he wasn't mad and then next day was so lovely, we were close as ever, entertained, relaxed enjoyed. And a bunch of Simmons' came over. Steve and Jannie and Bec and Nate and Lu Anne and Michelle. It was so fun! Chat and laugh, see baby Ethan. I asked Michelle if she was happy and the response was sad. I don't know her wel but I've always enjoyed michelle. I wan her dreams to come true. For her to be able to stay hom eif that's what she wants... Steve and Jannie told us about Oprah's show about not texting or talking while driving and we're so glad they did. We watched it Mon moring and it was life changing. Super sad to to end a life b/c of a phone distraction.

Monday- Brittany came over for some yoga but mostly I talked my heart out to her and she listened and advised . She told me how some folks burn their struggles and then they are gone! After breakfast, Adam and I talked for a bit as we tidied up the kitchen about regrets and experiences and I finally came to understand that the truth is they don't matter. I can't change them. You can look at things in the past for learning and to help change how you will act in the future but Debbie Madsen said in the past I did the best i knew. Now that I know better, I do better. The best you can is all you can do and if you screwed it all up, the best you can and alll God asks is that you repent, re-TURN to God, learn, take part in the power of the atonement, and move on, move up, to freedom, redemption! It's beautiful!. In my sorrow in the kitchen with Adam that day as I was working through my pain, telling him I wanted to burn my struggles- write them down and literaly burn them, he said do you regret what has happened in your life? Would you change this? and I can't remember some of what he said but at the end he tagged on "I love everything about you!" That meant the world to me. He means the world to me. My todays and tomorrows are NOT held captive by my yesterdays. And many a yesterday will serve me well in teaching my babies hoe to come unto Christ and LIVE! REALLY LIVE!

I really love this life. And I learn better how to embrace and enjoy the work of it. Adam said mon how life is work but it doesn't have to be hard. Not hard work just work. He's right.

Ellie was still a little under from her crash MOn morning but she gopt better as the dat progressed. It was labor day so no school no work, we pulled weeds in the side yard, the girls learned some spanish from a book from the library, we painted the blue chicken coop brownm the kids found wild kittens behind the coop, it was a super fun day, then we had the blatters and alens over for dinner and it was soooo fun! Kids golf carted around. During the day Jena learned to run it by herself so she drove all over- 1st with hust her and mason then with the crowds- shich I didn't know but Adam oked it and then hank got bucked off and got a bloody nose but no huge casualties.....Anywho, made cookies, it was just a fabulous day! I ought to labor more often!

A few events fm the past weeks I'm not sure I journaled:

Jena was listeneing as we were reading scripture and I'm reading some of the things from my New Testiment church manual and she was amazed at some of it and said Wow, this manueal was a really great book. It has so much in it! This sweet princess is so wise beyond her years- so sweet and capable. She amazed me- they all do but she's the oldest and as I see her abilities unfold the older she gets it amazes me more and more. Truely God has saved His wisest and greatest for the last. And I will do my alll to teach them to serve Him well. No regrets!

Macy was playing connect 4 with Adam and was bossing him about where to put his checkers and he didn't listen and put it where he wanted to to once and she said, Don't dad! That makes me so sad!" Ohhhh too funny that fiesty goosy! Kay I'm off to make some pancakes and star a week of homeschool! I love it! Thanks for the ride God! I just love it!

paint kittens dinner with friends

Sept 3 2010

It's been a fun and crazy week- home school doesn't go like I would have thought at all (of course) but it isn't bad- it's really gratifying and exhausting and fun. I got to go to the temple and then sit in the celestial room for a long time b/c we had a ward temple chapel session. Adam wasn't able to make it so it was just me and folks filtered out and it was JUST me and it was quiet and I asked in sincerity for an answer and it felt like "if you wait in the Lord he'll wait on you" and then the chapel sessions was very neat- like church without judgement or bias, just love and listening and learning. VERY cool. And then book club for Pride and Prejudice. Super neat. I still feel a bit self conscience and not well spoken but I love it too! It's fun to be around folks really vested in thsir children's education. And the book was YUUUUMMMMMY! Can't wait to dive into the next one too. Need to order it right away! Now to dinner. For family party, which we have slacked on but will be getting back into for sure, starting now, we're doing science experiments :) We tried out Tracy's gymnastics today in IF so it threw our home school plans off a ton. Course they are soo off I'm not sure what to think, what to do. But I'm flowin' it until the conference end of September. I hope I will be guided there. It has been a wonderful week and we're off to Bear Lake to swim allll dya with Jacques and co. tomorrow! YEAH!

August 31

Fun day today. The house was disaster b/c I did my once a month crazy shopping trip but I stayed happy, helped everyone clean up , we even did our work is done song and dance. We practiced mom reading time and picked from the treat trreasure box, it went sooo great! After dinner we cleaned up to tunes, Jena Ellie and I were cleaning up, the little kids we out jumping and the 3 of us were wailing it on the solo parts of one step at a time and I got alll emotional about it! Jena says mom are you crying? Yeah. Why? and she turns down the music and I hug them close and tell them b/c all my life I dreamed of having this- being best friends with my kids, working and singing together......I'm in love. It is such a joyful time of life. Had an alone moment and tried to muster up some real sincerity about wanting God's help in hpmeschooling but I couldn't arouse the feelings of desperation or of great need. I know God will be therre and I'll need his help but I feel soooo totally ok with teaching the kids. Granted I've never done it but I know it is part of my gifts in life and I know I can so whatever is coming, I know I've been called and I will go!

I remembered a quote that has been meaningful to me lately. It's from remember the titans. The hurt whire guy says to his nurse when she won't let his black friend in on account he's not family Julie, are you blind? That's my brother. I've felt a deeper connection to the great whole of the earth and of being part of God's family and often when I forget I remember Lizzy- are you blind? That's your brother!!!!!!!!! Love it. Levi and I rode our horses to gather the bathroom trashes today.....mine was faster :)

Aug 30

Two funny things of the day- 1st, Ellie "babysat" for me b/c Jena had a UTI and wasn't feeling up to it so we negotiated $3 for 4 hours and then Adam got home a little late and somehow she thought it ended up being 5 hours and she said so can it be $5 becasue I babysat longer and I had to change a poopy diaper which was really gross- it was like she didn't chew anything in it. :) BAH HAAAA! Welcome to poop Ellie! And we were sitting down to family night and I said what should we have for an opening some and Levi says Oh! I want Luda! ( Break your heart by Ludachris :) and then he proceeds to hop on itunes and pick out some hip hop goodness.....funny as it was it was a good choice :)

Another cute thing was Sunday night I interviewed the big girls and and I wrote down their goals and it was so fun, so cute. We were looking at our home school schedule as a sort of reference to remember all the things we've been working on and will work on and Ellie got to Mom's reading time/snack treasure chest and she said oh I'm glad we're talking about this becasue I've got some snack ideas I've been thinking about. And Jena too was all over offering input about the snacks :) I love those big girls. My prayer is that I can give Macy and Levi all that they need this fall too. I love them all so much Katie Neville's niece died in a car wreck two days ago and sudden death stps you right in your tracks and lets you remember the reality of mortality...I want no regrest. Live and love fully every day! I can!