August 31

Fun day today. The house was disaster b/c I did my once a month crazy shopping trip but I stayed happy, helped everyone clean up , we even did our work is done song and dance. We practiced mom reading time and picked from the treat trreasure box, it went sooo great! After dinner we cleaned up to tunes, Jena Ellie and I were cleaning up, the little kids we out jumping and the 3 of us were wailing it on the solo parts of one step at a time and I got alll emotional about it! Jena says mom are you crying? Yeah. Why? and she turns down the music and I hug them close and tell them b/c all my life I dreamed of having this- being best friends with my kids, working and singing together......I'm in love. It is such a joyful time of life. Had an alone moment and tried to muster up some real sincerity about wanting God's help in hpmeschooling but I couldn't arouse the feelings of desperation or of great need. I know God will be therre and I'll need his help but I feel soooo totally ok with teaching the kids. Granted I've never done it but I know it is part of my gifts in life and I know I can so whatever is coming, I know I've been called and I will go!

I remembered a quote that has been meaningful to me lately. It's from remember the titans. The hurt whire guy says to his nurse when she won't let his black friend in on account he's not family Julie, are you blind? That's my brother. I've felt a deeper connection to the great whole of the earth and of being part of God's family and often when I forget I remember Lizzy- are you blind? That's your brother!!!!!!!!! Love it. Levi and I rode our horses to gather the bathroom trashes today.....mine was faster :)

Aug 30

Two funny things of the day- 1st, Ellie "babysat" for me b/c Jena had a UTI and wasn't feeling up to it so we negotiated $3 for 4 hours and then Adam got home a little late and somehow she thought it ended up being 5 hours and she said so can it be $5 becasue I babysat longer and I had to change a poopy diaper which was really gross- it was like she didn't chew anything in it. :) BAH HAAAA! Welcome to poop Ellie! And we were sitting down to family night and I said what should we have for an opening some and Levi says Oh! I want Luda! ( Break your heart by Ludachris :) and then he proceeds to hop on itunes and pick out some hip hop goodness.....funny as it was it was a good choice :)

Another cute thing was Sunday night I interviewed the big girls and and I wrote down their goals and it was so fun, so cute. We were looking at our home school schedule as a sort of reference to remember all the things we've been working on and will work on and Ellie got to Mom's reading time/snack treasure chest and she said oh I'm glad we're talking about this becasue I've got some snack ideas I've been thinking about. And Jena too was all over offering input about the snacks :) I love those big girls. My prayer is that I can give Macy and Levi all that they need this fall too. I love them all so much Katie Neville's niece died in a car wreck two days ago and sudden death stps you right in your tracks and lets you remember the reality of mortality...I want no regrest. Live and love fully every day! I can!

Aug 23-26, 2010

Having a fabulous week this week. Learning a lot of things about myself. When I was at Maril's a few weeks ago I learned about my illness with clearance goods. I've known this about me but finally figured it out looking at a pair of earrings that I really liked and wanted and they were $20 and I thought that was a lot and my eyes drifted to some clearance earrings that I idn't like as well but still liked and they were $20.60 down from $29 and I realized that it seemed much better to buy the ones I didn't like as well that were actually more expensive!!!!! Freaky right? I KNOW! I'm ILLLLL! :) And while I knew this was a strange way to feel, I realized how strong this is in me- super excited to break that chain/plan/way of thinking. Only buy what I love from now on! IN fact we're going shopping with Eric and Chriosty Taylor later this month and doign all our shopping for the year- mine and Adam's wardrobe. They are good at it, they buy what they like, they look sharp, it's done. It'll be fun. No looking at price tags. And of course if I love something that is out of my budget then I say no but I don't say or do the reverse!

I've also read a few things that have really brought much pondering. #2 from universe book and let got so they can learn to walk fm screw tape- I'll add them in later- kinda long quotes. I also loved the scripture fm my New Testament study "All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth and lo, I am with you ALWAYS even unto the end of the world" That was very powerful. If He has got all the power and He is with me if I'll have Him then faith is kindled and fear melts away...oh that I could have found this rock a decade ago. Sigh. But then my path would have changed. Perhaps now is the perfect timing for me.

I run a mile and a half most mornings with Brittany Allen and it's wonderful therapy for me. I got to thinking and feeling, mostly after I want to Tracy's colloquia, that I was left behind, that all these years I've had time and I've left my brain empty, I didn't think to learn and read and these ladies have soo much more than me...sounds strange on paper ( sounds a lot like pride actually) but I called and told maril about it and brittany and adam, and they all reminded me that it's ok, that I have much to offer even if I havn't been reading forever and have great wisdom- that maril drives up from UT all the time to hang out b/c she can't find girls like me in her neighborhood, how adam says it's a bummer b/c I'm addicted to books and he's addicted to me :) I looooooove my Adam. Since he's read the 4 hour work week he has acted differently, felt differently. He wants to live! To really live and not live to work. I told him once that I feel like my biggest struggle in this life is him and his grumpyness. I'm not sure what to do with myself now that that's gone. We loooooovvvvvvee to be together, I read every morning, I'm so excited to homeschool, I'm learning so much and really enjoy this time of life. My eldest is begging me to babysit for pete's sake! :)

Monday I was pretty grumpy but took a nap and got over it- mostly my grumpiness comes fm planning or wanting to do too much and having it on my mind when I know it is not what I need to be doing 1st....something I have got to remember! And when I try to do family work seperately when it's a task that I need to work along side the babies.....like now when I should attend to breakfast and scriptures and work...........lesson learned, I'll chat more after work!

It's Sunday now and I'll journal my week and then I want to read and plan for homeschool which is starting this week!!!!!!!!! YEAH! So I was feeling like I do when I'm spinning too fast and not playing with my babies so after dinner the kids and I went to the craft room, and decided to draw pictures repesenting the life of the Savior. So I started teaching them the things I'm learning fm my New Testiment studies and they are remembering the stories and were amazed like me that worlds without numbe has the Savior created and we talked about how he still had the veil over Him and how he was taught line upon line here just like we were. It was fun.. Adam was having a hard time- he took a nap and ten went to help Chases with their carpet problem so he wasn't there but it was wonderful for me to STOP and love and teach. I hope home school is like that.

Tuesday was good and busy. Went to meet at Katie's about Levi's preschool and Levi was playing with Spencer and chased and started choking him- scared me. I've never seen him play real rough before. Just a kid I hope :) And then Ellie and I went on a blizzard date to Broulims and Hannah came to play and I took dinner to Katie Neville- prego with the flu- no good! And the computer guy came and helped my computer out quite a bit.

Wednesday I was babysitting- paying back a trade for Brittany and Bonnie- double wammy- and it was super fun! Kids played, I taught piano, we built trains, every one had a buddy. Super fun and then we went to a bbq with Eric and Christy, yummy and really fun. They are neat solid folks. They live by the water and there were a TON of bugs. reminds me not to live by the water :).

Thursday I taught the lawn boys voice. Andrew black is cutting the lawn in exchange for voice lessons. I don't really know how to teach them, I told them but he comes and brings 2 buddies- it's kinda fun. It reminds me how good I am at music. Sometimes I think I'm not that great and don't know that much but there is soooo much learn when I sit with these guys and think of all the things to try to teach! Then I went to mindy and got my hair cut, love it, and Adam and I went on a loooong date. Jena still wants to practice babysitting so we let her babysit from 1-5 and then Macie came over for the rest. Jena is so responsible it's NUTS! So we went to West Yellowstone, shared a beet chicken salad, went to Playmill, had all the treats at intermission, saw the Foreigner, parked and watched the moon for a while- a really super fun time!!!!!!

Friday we got ready all day to go camping- I get to dreading the prep process- soo much work but worth it! We had a blast! Went up past Kelly's, took a goat trail (Levi kept asking where all the goats were :) and so we had to say it was actually a goat and cow trail b/c we kept seeing cows :) Finally got turned around and parked at little kelly's, made a fire, kids played in the little stream, we got levi some $1 rubber cowboy boots and he had a ball! Perfect timing, splashing around in the little river, finding cans for money, cleaning up extra trash. We hiked up the canyon quite a ways, looked at all the plants and said we need to come back and take pics of these plants and go to the forest service and have them help us identify them. So the next day we did! But we slept great, ate a huge fun breakfast, explored around some more, went to get our bountiful basket, had some lunch at home then back up to go huckleberrying, which we were suprised to find some! Enought for a cheesecake we think! Grandma L would be proud! And then back to camp, we tried to perfect roasting pop biscuits, Adam made some fine pigs in blankets, we made s'mores, and the kids and I rode home in the camper, bouncing the whole way. I was getting tired and grumpy but then after kids were in bed at home we showered and I started telling Adam about Pride and Prejudice, which I'm reading for book club, shoot, which is this Thurs! Holy language batman! I'm getting my dictionary out for this book allll the time! I just started underlining all the words I don't know and sometimes there are 5 per page! It's a really yummy book though. Love it. So that was fun. Adam likes it when I read to him and I like it too.

Sunday- Jena woke up with a UTI, I'm a professional UTI sniffer, but she said she wasn't too bad so we went to church and so far everything is ok. I'm going to call Uncle Marshall, he is so sweet to call things in for us now and again....luckily we have such fabulous health. God has blessed us sooo much in that department. And I havn't even written about my green smoothies yet have I? Oh boy, we found those a few months ago thanks to Brittany Allen, and it has been great! My big girls will drink them b/c they know they are healthy even if they are nasty, which I have made some naaaaasty ones before :) Blended up kale and spinach and super foods like cacao, flax, and frozen fruits. Also Ellie got her first loose tooth this week- monday I think. She's a shark! Her big teeth just grew in behind her baby ones and she hasn't lost a single baby tooth. Thats where it's going to hurt. In the teeth department in our house. I'm thinking serious braces are in our future. S'ok. It's better than a hole in the head I guess. Oh, I'm off to read and plan, Sunday is getting away from me!!!!!!!!

Week of August 16-22, 2010

We did gymnastics this month for Ellie- she practiced every day for a week to show she was ready to practice and work hard at home. She did gym in June then didn't practice at home so not July and now in August she is and she's really gotten better! It's fun to see her progrss! Same with Jena and dance. She had 2 dance camps this sumer and she botofogs all around the house now! She got to preform at the international dance fest in Rexburg and was so cute in her costume and did very well dancing! I'm not sure we'll do 2 a week gym for ellie this fall- I'm not sure if we'll have too much going on or not enough with homeschool! Balance is elusive. :) I started "running" with Brittany Allen- which means we go for a mile and a half every morning ( I told that to Tiffany and she said not uh, really? b/c she and I went nuts last year and went 4 miles a day and worked out- got very trim but WOW that's hard to maintain :) But I love it. I feel like I'm keeping my heart in shape until I'm ready to hit it hard again- I feel super un-limber laetely- like my age is being felt. Maybe I could give yoga a try for that reason......
Anywho, back to this week.
Monday was sooo great! Well, 2 eged actually. Took kids to Bonnie's alllll day. De-junked again ( probably my 3rd major this summer), got a book case downstairs, more junk out of the kitchen, super helpful. It's 2 edged b/c I have some expectation of keeping the house perfect after I dejunk so that's something to work on :)
Tuesday we went to Christy Taylors to make chunky beady bracelets and it was more fun than I would have thought. The girls had a really great time! It's funny b/c Jena made 3! Just loved picking out all the beads and spent her b-day money from grandma (they were $7 a piece) and Ellie made one. I told them I would buy the 1st one and if they wanted more they could pay for them. They are normally super chunky and random and Ellie carefully picked her beads out and after a bit of explaining we finally figured out she wanted hers to be symetrical :) I love the different ways these little people think and do and have opinions. And they all turned out so cute and Christy was fun to visit with. There were other girls there and there was conversation about shopping and grumpy husbands and fashion and hobbies and I realized more than ever how much I want my hobby to be training my children about kindness, God, and books- real and living books. Classics that inspire and teach virtues and uplift!!!!!!! After beads we were super hungry, got a pizza, ate a little picnic on the lawn of the the IF library then got a few library books, we forgot our reading logs for the summer prize program so we decided we'd come back Fri bc I had things to do in town anyway.
Wed was fun and crazy. Jena got a few babysitting books and got alll excited about babysitting. She asked if she could start babysitting for me and I said sure, she said wed. nt I said sure. She asked me things from her book like what's intoxicated ( they had instructions about what to do if parents come home drunk :) and talked about a babysitting bag so wed. morn she asked if we could make one so we found a pattern on line and went to work. We cut and pinned and sewed I taught piano and even sewed through that some (b/c it's in the same room) We got it all done except the handle and she was so cutein telling levi there was a new babysitter. her name was Jena, that she was a friend of the Garcias and she asked if i would go pick her up at the elk statue at the beginning of the sub. if she walked down I said sure. Well we ran out of time but she did hop in the car with me, we drove to the elk and back and she had such a fun giggly moment of coming in and suprising Levi that she was the sitter. She filled her bag with a 1st aid kit and a red box and candy I got for her at Brouliums- And I left! I told her I'd pay her $5 for sitting for 3 hours and Adam and I went to the Temple and to Olive Garden and I started to be super grumpy to the world- started Thursday actually. I get really hard on myself for my weaknesses and pride that I've cultivated all these years and I went to Tracy's bookclub and didn't get the book read and feel like all these women have all this insight and years of reading and learning and why didn't I get this earlier! I'm so behind!!!! And it started this rage in my heart and a focus for the bummers of my life and not a focus of how lucky I stumbled on to a thrist for knowledge while my babies are still little! UGH! I started a few weeks ago working through the life of Christ manual from the church. I have kept up with it suprisingly- in the moring before jogging. I've never read the Bible- not even the majority of the New Testimant so it's very interesting. So incredible that Christ was already like unto God before the grand council, had already created worlds without number and after his mission on earth returned, finally, after tarrying 40 days with His friends, as if he did not want to leave, back to sit on his throne at the right hand of God to rule over the eternities!!! I had not thought of the Savior like that before. I'm not sure I knew that. Super neat experience for me. I like having a cours eto follow too. Sometime scriptures get so overwhelming for me- where to I start, it's better to spend time in them than just read cover to cover.....too much. Love the manuals. So Jena did a great job. She has watched kids here and there for short times but this was official and she said she'd love to do it every wednesday! She is older than her years!
Friday was a big day. I yelled at everyone throught family work, soooooo grumpy with out cause really, apologized, got mad again.....bummer. We went to IF, went to real deals so I could get some decor for my living room, went to Sam's to get a vitamix which I LOVE SOOOO much more than the blendtec. Got the blendtec a few months ago, have used it over 500 times but had problems, got them fixed, been making green smoothings like crazy! Love them! but vitamix wins for best ever expensive blender. Then we went to DI, got some toys and books. and boogied home to get ready for the ward campout. Took grandpas trailer, I got all stressed b/c I feel like Adam has all these expectations of me and I loathe getting ready for stuff like that b/c I know Adam will be disappointed that I didn't pack right or start early enough or whatever! Gives my blood pressure problems! :) But we got through it, bought serious amounts of cany on the way out then it was super fun. Slathered on the bug spray, kids rode bikes ate great dinner, walked little trails, kids roamed and played and played. I wish I wasn't so worried about my flaws and faults. I wish I was a better friend to folks and not so inwardly competitive and proud. Oh how I cultivated that fo sooo long. But the devil doesn't care if I did that or act like that or if I feel bad or good about it so long as I stayed focused on it, on me! And though I know that my heart still sorrws. Perhaps I'll ask Adam for a blessing! Oh how I love him! It was been such a crazy ride! Up and down, struggling to get along mingled with many great best friend times! And now it seems as though we'll be best friends forever.
Saturday we drove home after breakfast and hopped in the boast with the Wolfensburgers and headed to Ririe! The Briggs met us there and it wa sa fun time. Adam hurt his ankle bad when he fell wake boarding b/c he tightened the laces too much. And then he was begging me to get in the water so I finally got the stinky wet suit on b/c I'm so deterred by the cold, and it was night by then and the engine quit- probably out of gas :) Nice Adam. Then we had a bbq at out home afterword and it was super fun!
Sunday we were almost late for church again :) It's like serenity and peace and love and joy allll morning until 8:25 or so then it is CRAZY at our house! I lead music for Deborah- poor girl had a baby 2 weeks ago and is in so much pain she's not sure why- probably kidney infection. So we brought over dinner- including a vitamix shake- we made probably 4 different kinds today :) LOVE IT! But earlier, right after church we went to the office- Adam needed a hose and we needed a treat. I scarfed through one bag of chips and asked Adam if I could get another treat and what he said made my heart and time stop. He said, "You can have anything you want. You know that right? If's it's within my ability. (and then being a little silly he pulled me in tight and said) and I've got some great abilities (or something like that). I about cried. I can't believe I have a man who wants me to have all that I want and has always taken care of us and provided all we need and more. I get that. I've understood that but something about the way he sadi it when he said it was just soo amazing to me. Just an incredible expression of love....life is sweet.

Off to put my princesses to bed. Adam and Levi went to fill a semen tank and went to a river by Leadore somewhere. I love that they can spend boy time together. I love those boys and all my girls! I hope my grumpyness is just satan trying to freak me out about teaching my babies. Get thee hence. We've got some sweet adventures ahead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Recommitting To Journaling

I'm on a recommitment quest to journal. My life is so fun and funny and I WANT to document it and hilariously enough, I have felt damned by the sign in process of blogging. Can't remember what e-amil address I used or what password, yatta, yatta. Had a greta day today- Bonnie took my babies alllllll day (I'm about to go get them) and I organized, de-junked, cleaned, got ready for school! It's going to be great. I don't know where to start talking about the journey I've been on but Maril picked up a Thomas Jefferson Education book by Oliver DeMille and suddenly my life is crazy different! She read it, loved it, I read it and it sang to me. Maril and I talk about 45 min everyday (at least that's what Jacques found out when he studied her bill :) and it is funny to hear and feel how our conversations have gone from decor, babysitters, and dinner, to philosophy, education, and books! I feel super excited and different! And so all of that to say that I'm homeschoolig this year, super excited. Jena is such a wonderful example to the kids, super fun cheerleader and incredibley smart and talented- they all are- that I'm not scared. My only fear is wondering why I'm no scared. I've felt this coming. Slowly, not at a pace that would scare me off, just bite at a time and now it's here and I'm super excited! I get to have my own education too! I love it. I want to journal my way through it. I want to fill in the journal gaps for the last 10 years too but I'll hold off. I'll just take one day at a time. Super happy, Liz